Thursday, November 17, 2005

Haiku

Japanese maple
Still drooping rubicund leaves
Rich in slanting light


Written for the word of the day, rubicund, at Poem of the Day.

5 Comments:

Blogger mermaid said...

I like the haiku form. So much in so little. I felt comforted at the end of it.

11/18/2005 9:08 AM  
Blogger moira said...

Puts me in mind of a beautiful bonsai I once saw, so dramatic in color and form.

11/18/2005 3:24 PM  
Blogger Stranger Ken said...

What I like especially about the way you've used "rubicund" is that it develops the warm mood of the haiku rather than simply describing the colour of the leaves and this is further added to by "rich" in the third line. What, however, am I to make of the contrast implicit in "drooping"? Can leaves droop in a rubicund manner? So much in seventeen syllables!

11/19/2005 9:21 AM  
Blogger MB said...

Mermaid, I'm glad you enjoyed it. Good things do sometimes come in small packages.

Moira, this one was written about the tree outside my window, caught glowing in the slanting light of the setting sun. It's small, maybe 6 feet, but not bonzai small! Plenty of drama, though.

Ken, I'm glad you felt the warm mood. It's hard, using few words, to know if I've sketched enough to carry a feeling. I don't know if leaves can droop in a rubicund manner, but rubicund leaves can and do droop right here out my window! That second line is written in an ambiguous, unpunctuated manner (does still mean not moving, or that the leaves are not yet fallen from the tree?) (are the leaves drooping in a rubicund manner, or are rubicund leaves drooping? or is it the maple that is drooping, not specifically the leaves?) ...etc. I decided to leave it ambiguous because I felt that all the interpretations applied. To me, that runic quality is the delight of haiku.

11/21/2005 10:37 AM  
Blogger Amy said...

Nice haiku, with the needed seasonal element, capturing a transient moment, and correct rhythm. I had to look up rubicund. The noun form is "rubicundity." Can you imagine throwing that in a sentence?

To me, the drooping, red leaves imply a weightiness that the tree is soon to be free of. That is part of the transience necessary in haiku, and inherent in the seasons.

11/22/2005 9:08 AM  

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