Closure
to and fro, to and fro
a creeping doubt
a halt and freeze
and crippling ease
for want of paint
an eye was closed
for want of sound
a throat was closed
for want of words
a mouth was closed
no more —
unbolt —
fling wide the doors
and let the flood
of roiling love
and blinding light
ravage these
untended halls
let them rip
and tear and splash
loud and rough
along the walls
and leave behind
a slip, a slime
in which such tender
roots may grow
white and thin —
o, white and thin, begin.
begin.
within
begin
is
love.
a creeping doubt
a halt and freeze
and crippling ease
for want of paint
an eye was closed
for want of sound
a throat was closed
for want of words
a mouth was closed
no more —
unbolt —
fling wide the doors
and let the flood
of roiling love
and blinding light
ravage these
untended halls
let them rip
and tear and splash
loud and rough
along the walls
and leave behind
a slip, a slime
in which such tender
roots may grow
white and thin —
o, white and thin, begin.
begin.
within
begin
is
love.
posted by MB at 9:36 AM
17 Comments:
Wow. You can feel the ebb and flow of energy here. Beautiful.
"o, white and thin, begin.
begin.
within
begin
is
love."
Que c'est beau !!
Plus une chose est simple , épurée , plus elle va à ce qui est important .
Le blanc , la pureté pure .
Pour répondre à votre question , j'ai photographié l'arbre le matin très tôt , le jour se levait ,il faisait très froid .
MB,
An interesting technique. I think the part from "...fling wide..." to "...roots may grow..." works best, but I like the allusion that the early lines make, as well. Then ending, for me, is a bit puzzling, however.
The overall meaning, perhaps, is obscured by the stylistics of language. I'm okay with that, but there is the hint that something may be missed, or incompletely expressed here. I don't mean to call you to account, of course, and you don't need to furnish explanations (I hate doing that, myself), but it's something to consider.
Mary, thank you, I'm glad you felt that. This cuts deep for me, as you might suppose.
Jean, merci. Je pense que vous avez raison. Les choses epurees s'expriment parfois leur essence. C'est ce que je pensait, que vous etiez dehors tres tot. La lumiere est si bleue et mince.
Firehawk, I appreciate your constructive comment. I think I can see what you mean. To me, you see, it's so obvious — but then, why should it be to you? (You are not inside my head, have not had my experiences...) By way of explanation, it has to do with unfolding, with growth that happens only in a loving environment, and the growth itself perpetuates the love. I don't know if that helps make it make more sense.
This is exquisite, and the rhythm is incredibly moving as it brings the words to life. Do you find yourself reading poetry aloud? I love to do that and hear how it falls off my tongue. This was glorious.
Oh yes, Sky, perhaps because I am also a musician, rhythm is a huge part of poetry for me, whether it's explicit and obvious (as in this one) or more subtle. I read aloud, or aloud-in-my-head, all the time. Because beyond rhythm, there are sounds, vowels and aspirants and alliteration and all... It's bloody marvelous what a deft hand can do with a few words. I'm pleased you enjoyed the poem.
I'm not exactly sure why, perhaps the simplicity and elegance of the lines, and their sense of perfectly chiselled out of the English language, and the rhythm, how the indefinite articles and nouns turn into verbs and conjuctions, as we begin slowly, tentatively and then 'fling' 'flood' 'ravage' 'rip' 'tear' 'splash,' before travelling further down the stalk of this very fine flower of a poem to the 'roots,' and the repetition of 'white' and 'thin' and 'begin,' it's hard to pin point exactly, but "Closure" seems Shakespearean to me. I can hear a Shakespearean actress' voice in a soliloquy. I love this poem!
Caramba Azulejo! OOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Ole!
And...
as I bow
I wipe
my brow.
Brenda, oh my. Now that you say it, I can hear it, too, but I haven't the faintest how it got like that. This was one of the ones that just poured out from the deep somewhere. The kind that I look at later and think, "Whoa! Where did that come from?" I mean, I know exactly where it came from in one sense, but how it got expressed that way is the mystery...
Lhombre, son de palabras amables. Me haces honor. Pero quiero decir tambien que cuando me contestas me siento siempre escuchado, mi amigo. Muchas gracias.
Word verification... xdsiaha = ecstasy aha! ????
you are a poet ... well done ...
I can only read, speak, think and dream in English, alas, but I love how multi-lingual your comments have become! Nothing but admiration for you! xo
from a tender beginning to an energetic, healthy and robust expression of delicate roots.
beautiful, rhythmic, musical.
Becca, I'm learning. Thank you.
Brenda, that aspect of this blog has come as a complete and pleasant surprise. I like the way it pushes me.
Anne, thanks for a lovely comment.
I'm impressed! An inspiring poem about inspiration itself. Line breaks were very well handled.
Oh.
Oh.
Gilbert, thanks for stopping by. Interesting you mention the line breaks, because I really worked them! They were important in this one.
Zhoen... thanks!
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