In the dark
(Senryu sequence)
light washes through me
like the sun passes over
the ripening earth
as much as I am
afraid of the dark, I can
not hold fast the light
if you choose to share
your light with me, you'll see these
hands out in welcome
light washes through me
like the sun passes over
the ripening earth
as much as I am
afraid of the dark, I can
not hold fast the light
if you choose to share
your light with me, you'll see these
hands out in welcome
posted by MB at 8:05 AM
13 Comments:
MB,
Achieves a consonance and flow that makes one forget that there are things like syllable counts and forms.
There's something that slips through this that I can't quite catch, it must be the light. xo
do you find this harder to do?
do you find this harder to do - especially a sequence?
I take your hands in gratitude...
alan
Très joli poème !
Que la lumière soit avec vous !
I agree with Firehawk. Beautiful flow of words.
very nice!
When I first read this poem I didn't quite know what to say...
The words continue to rest in my thoughts
We write about escaping the darkness, but sometimes I wonder if it's the light we really fear.
Firehawk, thank you. I'm glad you felt it that way.
Brenda, your comment made me laugh. Catching the light — ah, that's the issue, isn't it!
Sky, the sequence was not harder to do — at least not this time. Things sometimes just "arrive." This didn't completely, I did have to work the last stanza a little before settling on this version.
Alan, and I yours. Thank you!
Jean, merci pour votre mots de gentillesse. Que la lumiere soit avec vous aussi!
Mary, and rdl, thank you both very much.
Endment, there are times when I am without words in responding to things. I know this well. And sometimes it just takes me a while. Thank you for your comment.
Mermaid, sometimes (for me) it is the light I fear. I try less and less to escape the dark for it is always there in some form. Instead... to hold the two, knowing where my focus is.
Not only a lovely poem, but also one that expresses the mb I've come to know...hands out in welcome.
...not unlike the Patry I've come to know! Thank you.
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