Senryu trio
my eyes just open,
from behind the dark curtain
sweet sound of bird song
*
here beneath the grey
limitless expanse of sky
your young hand holds mine
*
a day to breathe deep
a day to swim through all tears
a day for wide eyes
from behind the dark curtain
sweet sound of bird song
*
here beneath the grey
limitless expanse of sky
your young hand holds mine
*
a day to breathe deep
a day to swim through all tears
a day for wide eyes
posted by MB at 9:51 AM
8 Comments:
I have to admit I wonder what the difference is between haiku and senryu. If one has a landscape/seasonal element and the other often a pun or satire of the foibles of human nature, then these poems cross between the forms. Fitting your creativity to a rigid form of syllables and lines must be challenging- not something I could do. As ever, these little pieces open out exapansively, a sigh that turns into a breath and then into a song. With a sweet child.
Well, as you know, the dividing line is not always easily discerned, especially when it comes to hybrids. These poems do cross the lines, and make themselves difficult to categorize. The last one contains only the reference to "day" which is a reference that is not nature-specific in this case as much as marking a time-frame or occasion. So, they actually span the range. What to do! I classified them as senryu because my thought is that their collective emphasis is on human nature, more than on nature. I think an argument could be made credibly either way.
...and as for the form, yes, it's a challenge. But I have an affinity for rhythm that makes it a pleasurable challenge for me. Thanks for your lovely comment.
MB: How beautiful these are. Thank you. Separate yet connected, with a satisfying progression from the dark to the open sky and beyond.
Very interested and appreciative of Brenda's commenta and your response. I hesitated today too about which name was appropriate .. and am still not sure I made the right decision.
And I think this is the third time with us that these similarities have happened. I love it!
Form I know little of; beauty I understand as it touches me.
My heart is film, your words a lens!
alan
Ahhhh.
A wonderful launch into the day.
Thanks so much.
Mary, I love it, too! And I do not have a good handle on the finer distinctions between haiku and senryu, despite having tried to read up on pretty extensively. Clarity eludes me there.
Alan, it's the beauty that counts, don't you think? The essence that stirs our souls. You have a great heart.
Lori, I'm pleased you enjoyed this.
Thunderowl, I enjoy reading the responses people have to my poems... I never know what connections they'll make, and that delights me. I'm pleased you enjoyed this. Thanks for commenting!
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